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January 30, 2013     Sentinel Tribune
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SENTINEL TRIBUNE I ;WPOINT Wednesday, January 30, 2013 Page 4 BETWEEN By Tom Merchant - Sentinel Tribune -- tmerchant@ncppub.com THE LINES Foot long subs? Have you ever measured a foot long sub, or a foot long hot dog? No, me either. Recently someone took Subway to task because they claim the foot longs are only 11 and a half inches. Reallyt Of course whenever some- thing like this occurs usually a raft of trivial law suits follow, and this one is no exception. One person is suing Subway for five million dollars claiming he has eaten 50 foot long subs, per year, at Subway for the past 14 years. Let's see now -- that's about 700 subs at five or six bucks or about $4,200 -- that's a far cry from five million! Also, this guy obviously did not measure any of those subs either, so how would he know if the ones he ate were short of a foot. Then the question is this, assuming they all were short an inch, then shouldn't he only be compensated for the one inch of each sub? If so that would only be about $360. The ofily other compensation I can think of would be for pain and suffering? I don't see how you could make that one fly. I know what Judge Judy would say -- BALONEY! I concur with that statement. I have eaten quite a few of those subs, only mostly the six inch variety. Unlike most people, I do carry a pocket size tape mea- sure, but I have never measured a sub sandwich, although next time I have one I might do it just out of curiosity. But then there are a lot of variables involved with baking as most morns and grand- mas will tell you. Temperature, rise time, yeast, baking time and much more can affect the final product. Most fast food joints have elaborate test kitchens where they. define ingredients, weight, cooking temperatures and many other things that affect the final product at both wholesale and retail levels. When Best Friend saw the sub on a news cast, she pointed out the sub they showed on the report was cut in two pieces. She said, "it would have been easy to cut a piece out of the center before taking the picture." I guess if someone was going to sue the company for the short sub, then I could see that. There have been thousands, if not millions, of fraudulent claims against almost any business in America. Remember the lady who sued McDonald's for her spilling hot coffee on herself. That case was awarded by one court then over- turned by another court. I can understand when people are wrongfully harmed by a product they should be compensated by the manufacturer of the product. Let's see now, what about 2"x4"s -- they have not been 2 inches by 4 inches for many years, and I have bought quite a few of them over the years. I wonder how much the lumber industry owes me? I used to really like foot long hot dogs as a kid growing up, I thought that really was a treat. But I'll bet a dime to a donut they are not all a foot long, and the buns were seldom as long as the hot dog. Although, it seems today, most regular hot dogs are shorter than the bun. If you look at the product information of most burger joints it says the weight of their burgers is before cooking. That would be hard for the consumer to prove, however I suspect the food inspectors keep a pretty close eye on things like that, as well as quality control at the companies. The only thing I can say about a law suit would be if they could prove the company inten- tionally cut the amount of dough in their subs to save money. Then I could see suing, but that would have to be a class action suit. I recall hearing a story about oil baron John D. Rockefeller. Back in the day when oil came in metal cans he asked the supervi- sor of the sealing operation how much solder was being used to seal the cans. The supervisor told him, and Rockefeller told him to cut back by so many drops. But then,the cans started leaking so :: they had to add a little more sol- der until they did not leak. The end result was they were able to cut back on solder and save the company thousands of dollars. However the consumer was not affected in any way by what they did. I am not sure what that has to do with short sub sandwiches, but I like the story. I guess you could say sometimes less is more, but not if you are eating a sub sand- wich. Have a great week and do good! Buy, Sell, or Rent in the Classified ads Sentinel Tribune Ph. 274-6136 1-800-410-1859 Mission Statement The Sentinel Tribune serves the residents and business community of Cottonwood, Redwood, Murray and Lyon County and southwest Minnesota by applying its available resources to accurately and consistently produce a quality newspaper which thoroughly covers the news of the area, stimulates thought and conversation, delivers advertising mes- sages in a timely manner, and provides information of general value to its public. In so doing contributes to the overall quality of life and economic health of its readers, advertisers and community in general while stimulating the professional development of its employees. ,p AI BaR... "Stories from the Batt Cave" Sublimely slurping savory soup I wrapped a large bow around the car parked outside our garage. It was a gift for my wife. No, I hadn't bought The Queen B a new car for her birthday, but I did have the oil changed in her old car. You should have seen how excit- ed my bride was. She called me one of those sweet names she saves for special occasions and gave me a chilling look that made me want to warm up with a bowl of soup. Most of us have eaten chicken soup when we've had a cold. A Mayo Clinic newsletter had this to say, "Chicken soup might help relieve cold and flu symptoms in two ways. First, it acts as an anti- inflammatory by inhibiting the movement of neutrophils--immune system cells that participate in the under, the more likely they are to get colds. Going outdoors with wet hair was stressful. I laughed at Cousin Eddie in the "National Lampoon Vacation" movies when he said things like, "I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fme by itself. I like it better than tuna helper myself." Cousin Eddie never con- cemed himself with whether or not wet heads cause colds. He probably laughed at me. Oh well, at least I don't have a metal plate in my head. I do know that men's colds are worse than women's. You can do your own research to determine the validity of this statement. Just ask any man. I watched "All in the Family" and learned that there are two kinds of people in this world: shlemihls and shlimazls. A shlemihl is the person who spills soup and a body's inflammatory response, shlimazl is the person he spills it .... ,.-.' =' ,- . - ,- ;'.:,',on. ' -- =' . ' Second," it temporarily speeds up ' My neighbor Crandalrs house the movement of mucus, possibly helping relieve congestion and lim- iting the amount of time viruses are in contact with the nose lining." I don't know if eating soup when you have a runny nose is a good idea, but I'm sure that noodle soup is brain food. It's nice to know that my mother was fight about chicken soup. She was wrong about the wet hair. She warned that if I went outside in winter with wet hair, I'd catch a cold. A wet head in winter caused me to shiver, but it didn't give me a cold. The New England Journal of Medicine reported that the more psychological stress people are has a liberal immigration policy regarding rainfall. In other words, his roof leaks. Crandall doesn't eat soup when it's raining, because the bowl fills faster than he can empty it. It's still better than eating the homemade soup his sister Cruella makes. She has 17 housecats. I like my soup hot. I blow on a steaming bowl of soup to cool it. Evaporated particles form a cloud of vapor above the soup, saturating the air and preventing more evapo- ration. When I blow on my soup, I diffuse that vapor. That clears the air, making room for more evapora- tion, thus cooling the soup. My wife and I like soup. We've attended more soup and pie feeds at churches than we could count. We went to The Grand Cafe in Lake Mills for its weekly soup night fea- turing various kinds of soup, won- derful breads and breadsticks, free service, and great grub. The Cafe walls are covered with photos and license plates, and the all-you-can- eat menu guarantees I'd have an ample sufficiency. The Grand is like the Soup Nazi on "Seinfeld" if the Soup Nazi had been nice. Another diner told me that he wished he'd had rubber pants pock- ets so he could take soup home. Not all eateries are as pleasing as The Grand Cafe. I recall being in a greasy spoon featuring a sign read- ing, "If you like day-old soup, come back tomorrow." I ordered soup so thick that when I stirred it, the room went around. A man sat down next to me and ordered a bowl of soup. "I'm sorry," the wait- ress said, pointing at me, "but the gentleman next to you has the last bowl." I'd stopped slurping the soup. "Are you done? Could I have the rest of your soup?" the man asked. I moved the bowl in front of him and he started eating. He was such a noisy eater that six diners got up and danced. Shortly thereafter, he discovered dead boxelder bugs. "Yuck," he said, "I just found bugs in the soup." I nodded and replied, "That's when I stopped eating." A1 Batt 2013 71622 325 St. 1-1, MN 56042 http://albatt.net/ i I I II I1[I I' II III I Sentinel Tribune Thomas Merchant Junette Merchant Joan Spielman (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Office & Production Ad Representative & Office Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, and Murray. $42.00 per year. Elsewhere in Minnesota $46.00 per year. Out or the state $52.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office. If wrong amount is submitted subscrip- tion will be pro rated accordingly. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $5.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mailing single copies is about $2.00. Any request for a back copy must include $3.00. Newstand price is $1.00 per copy. Copyright 2012 Sentinel Tribune a New Century Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183 CALL WESTBROOK OFRCE 507-274-6136 FAX 507-274-6137 TOLL-FREE 1-800-410-1859 News Desk E-mail sentrib@ncppub.com Editor tmerchant@ncppub.com II II II DEADLINES All news 12 Noon Monday All Peach Ads 9 a.m. Friday Sentinel Tribune Ads 12 Noon Monday Classified Ads 9 a.m. Friday OR DROP NEWS ITEMS AT THE BUBAI FOOD STORE IN WALNUT GROVE Monday thru Saturday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Sunday 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (Ads & News Items are picked up 9:00 a.m. on Friday) (All non-business ads must be pre-peld) WESTBROOK SENTINEL TRIBUNE OFFICE HOURS Monday, Tuesday 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Wednesday 8:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. Thursday 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. Friday 8:30 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.