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March 17, 2004     Sentinel Tribune
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March 17, 2004

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SENTINEL TRIBUNE V le00c)lnt Wednesday, March 17, 2004 BETWEEN By Tom Merchant Sentinel Tribune THE LINES My big fat lawsuit ... Last week I was talking with my son Jeffrey on the phone. The subject of the guy who is suing McDonalds for making him fat came up. I commented that if you eat a half dozen Big Macs a day and several orders of fries and a few shakes, you are probably going to get fat and probably end up with diabetes, heart diseases and who know what else. His reply caught my funny bone, He said .... What is next? Will they have you put your cholesterol on your drivers license?" I responded "Yeah can't you hear the clerk at McDonalds? Hey buddy your cholesterol is way to high it's nothing but salad for you big guy." I wonder when people will be asked to take some responsibility for their own actions. I mean, no one is forcing you to eat your weight in burgers and fries. Of course when you are young and foolish nothing you do will ever hurt you. Then all of a sudden you get about ten years past middle age and you find out all those fries and Big Macs have clogged your arteries and you have a big prob- lem. If you are lucky, like me, you will find out before you have the fatal heart attack. But think about this, fifty percent of all first time heart attacks are fatal. The good news is, it is almost never to late to change things. Basically it is a simple formula for good health and a body that looks good. A sensible diet and a little exercise. What kind of message are we sending? The following comments were taken from Mrs. Otto's' second grade class. The following is how her students answered this ques- tion, "if I were president, I would pass a law that..." Everyone has to be nice to each other! You would have to be nice at all times. They would pay me 10,000 bucks an hour! To help people. Would make them pay me 1 billion bucks an houd People could not fight each other. Follow the rules don't be mean. Nobody will get money but me. Speeding was not allowed. They get pets, get cars and food. We all would have pets. You have to follow the rules to be nice to people. Everyone would have to give me money. They would pay me a mil- lion dollars. They would give me all the money. You cannot eat very much candy. Everybody has to work. Where everybody would have to be quiet. Wow it sure seems like this class is really materialistic. Have a great week! LETTER TO THE EDITOR Real truth? Now I'm sure you've heard that JANKLOW wants OUT. But have we, the Public, been told the Real truth? It wouldn't surprise me one bit if some Big guy called 'Bubba" winked, and called him "Honey"... or "Sweetheart!" one day. Maybe one of the fellows he put in prison? Of course, we may never know... Now he refuses to work outside the prison. If manu- al labor is good enough for us 'peons', it should be good enough for Mr. Bill Janklow. Dorothy M. Riddell Worthington, MN Compromise on the governor's supple- mental budget Recently the governor released his supplemental budget. In addi- tion to asking lawmakers to close the $160 million budget deficit, he has added $60 million in new sav- ings. Under his plan, our new tar- get is $220 million. The governor's plan to find the $220 million includes cutting funding to Minnesota's hospitals, nursing homes, and pharmacies. I've already received many calls from the district from people worried about this proposal. Many cuts were made to health care last year, and I am very concerned cuts this year will have both a short-term impact on residents, health and a long-term impact on how rural hospitals, nursing homes, and pharmacies will operate in the future. Now that we know the budget deficit figure and have an idea of how much more money the gover- nor wants to spend, the Senate and House will construct their plans. Hearings will be held in the com- ing weeks, and a compromise will be put together by the end of ses- sion. I am interested in hearing how you think we should solve the budget deficit problem. Please send your ideas to me at 226 State Capitol, 5 Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd., St. Paul, MN 55155-1606, sen.jim.vickerman or 651-296-5650. Sincerely, Jim Vickerman State Senator, Dist. 22 eeoeeoeeeeooeeQoeeeeeo Sentinel Tribune Tip Line : If you see news happening or have a story idea call our News Tip Line. 274-6136 or 1-800-410-1859 Due to staff limitations we may not always be able to respond to your tips or ideas. However we will do our best to give every call full regard. Thank you for your help and consideration. 0- 000000000000000000000 O Find us on the Web at www. lyon- siouxpre s s. com Sentinel Tribune Thomas Merchant Roxy Soil Wayne Rue Junette Merchant Nancy Goring Joan Spielman (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Ad Layout & Office Manager Advertising Sales Westbrook Office & Production Production Production Carolyn Van Lob assignment reporter Teri Herder Walnut Grove news correspondent Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, Lyon, Murrayand Nobles $25.00 Per Year - $17.00 6 Months (includes Sl(INIt/,.00II00 IWO-BY-FOOR I0000[00OOlVlPOOIL LI i AI BaH... "Stories from the Bait Cave" Great readers ask me great questions "Why would my wife want ten new pairs of shoes?" To have something to go with her ten new outfits. "Have you ever seen a Bigfoot?" Yes, once at the shoe store in Alden. I have also seen a Bighoot, an 8-foot tall owl, near Hartland. "My drain is clogged. What can I do?" Hire a group of clog dancers. "Do you maintain a regular exercise program?" Yes, each day, I take my goldfish for a walk. "Are you much of a fisherman?" I think that I could sum up my fish- ing abilities simply by stating that my tackle box is an old Altoids container that formerly contained curiously strong peppermints. "What is the best use for leather?" To hold cows together. "Are you obsessive about any- thing?" Yes, all of my obsessions. "What does "lutefisk" mean?" It is an old Norwegian word meaning "coming from between the toes." "Is there a golf course in Hartland?" Yes, there is an 8- hole course, but it is always busy. That's where the Norwegian Bowling League tournaments take place. "Do you know any place where I can get a sundae with extra hot fudge?" I'm sorry, but I think the hot fudge only comes in one tem- perature. "Do you know anything about medicine?" Only one thing. Never turn your back on a proctol- ogist. "1 dont have a question. I just want to thank you for your column. My family went camping and we took a bunch of your columns alone| with u. In a wk's tim.; Mission Statement The Sentinel Tribune serves the residents and business community of Cottonwood, Redwood, Murray and Lyon County and southwest Minnesota by applying its available resources to accu- rately and consistently pro- duce a quality newspaper which thoroughly covers the news of the area, stimulates thought and conversation, delivers advertising mes- sages in a timely manner, and provides information of general value to its public. In so doing contributes to the overall quality of life and economic health of its read- ers, advertisers and commu- nity in general while stimu- latihg the professional devel- opment of its employees. we went through all of them. Thank you." You're welcome, but next time, remember to take along the toilet paper. "Do you wear boxers or briefs?" Depends. "What happens if you combine an infinite number of monkeys with a never-ending supply of typewriters?" They will produce something much too well-written to be used on ESPN. "How many people live in the Twin Cities?" About one-third. The other two-thirds are out driv- ing around. "What is the advantage of being telepathic?" It cuts down on the cell phone bill. "What would be the best thing to happen to professional sports?" The New York Yankees finishing last every year. "Your wife seems so nice. She deserves a good husband." Yes, she does. Luckily, I married-her before she could find one." "What makes the best pillow?" A clear conscience. "What is it that makes men want to go that extra mile?" It's because they missed the last exit. "Do you have nursing home insurance?" Don't need it. I have a hotel discount card. "So you live in Hartland? What part?" All of me. "Have you joined the modern age and gotten yourself a cell phone?" Yes, I do own a cell phone, but it has a rotary dial. "What is an official Minnesota" yield sign supposed to look like?" It's a red octagon with the letters S-T-O-P on it. "What is the motto of the village of Bath?" It's ,Hey, we're over here!" =Do you miss the change of sea- sons when you travel outside the Midwest?" No, that's what we have The Weather Channel for. "What is the most Minnesota potato?" A "What do you greatest accom proud to have puzzle in just 3 months. it came in said it was -for years." "Did you really live youth?" Did I? My lightbulb and a Pontiac being Amish. "How could I learn to a Hartlander." I'll help bet. Here is the "creek" when describing that your knee makes. ."crick" when you are stream. And say you are talking about a your neck. "How do you find one lives in a small anybody in a small town. "What do you think are?" Ads for Target "Why do golfers It's easier than saying, the next of kin?" "What do you think for the popularity on TV is?" They us that we don't have "What does the word mean?" It's an ancient word meaning "don1 it." "What do you get appreciates nothin "Do computers often in Minnesota tha n Arizona?" Everyth Minnesota more in Arizona. --AI" Batt 2004 71622 325 St. Hartland, MN 56042 n,tgJrr L Peach). Elsewhere in Minnesota $29.00 per year. Out of the State $34.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $6.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mail- ing single copies is almost $1.50. Any request for a back copy must include $2.00. Newstand price is 75 cents per copy. Copyright 2003 Sentinel Tnlune a Lyon Sioux Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183 CALL WESTBROOK OFRCE 507-274-6136 FAX 507-274-6137 TOLL-FREE 1-800-410-1859 E-mail OR DROP NEWS ITEMS AT THE ' OLESON'S MERCANTILE WALNUT Monday thru Friday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 Saturday 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. DEADLINES Local news N 0 School news 2". Articles and other news All Peach Ads Sentinel Ads, & Classified Ads 4:00 WESTBROOK SENTINEL TRIBUNE OFFICE Monday, Tuesday 8:00 a.m. . Wednesday 8:00 a.m."  Thursday, Friday 8.' a.m-"