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May 5, 2004     Sentinel Tribune
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SENTINEL TRIBUNE V a leWpolnt Wednesday, May 5, 2004 is BETWEEN THE By Tom Merchant Sentinel Tribune LINES Hats off to FFA and FCCLA Recently the FFA chapter and FCCLA chapters brought home a lot of medals and trophies from their competition at the State FFA Convention and the State FCCLA Conventions. Both coaches Linda Carter and Becky Rise can be proud of the accomplishments of their respective teams. They also noted quite a number of the kids involved are members of both organizations. It is always special when our young people represent our com- munities with great honor and dig- nity. It was pointed out that these kids do well not because they are gifted students with natural attrib- utes, but by their dedication and just plain hard work. Of course it does require a certain amount of natural ability also. But you do not have to be big and tall or athleti- cally inclined to excel in these types of competitions. Desire and hard work will get you a long way in these organizations. Again I say a tip of the hat to these young men and women. You have done us proud. The Pharmacist A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about Englisl) literature! "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter. "1 have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know.., math always was a little hard to swallow." Student and the Have a great week! LETTER TO THE EDITOR Lost that loving feel- ing? Last week our School Superintendent, Mr. Woelber informed our community that the school is having a difficult time filling several coaching positions. He claims that some parents have "lost that loving feeling" towards coaches. Also, it was stated that parents just don't respect coaches like they used to. It is hard to believe that the par- ents are the only culprits. I won- der if some of these coaches are leaving because they just couldn't stomach the breakdown of integri- ty. If parents have been disgusted, it may be because they've seen time after time that politics rule how the game is WON, or LOST. I've watched our school sports for eighteen years Mr. Woelber, and I've made some darn good friends in those bleachers. You should try it! Sincerely, Karolyn Byers Omnibus Tax bill of interest to area resi- dents, businesses The Senate has approved an omnibus tax bill that includes points of interest for area resi- dents, communities and business- es. I am pleased that the omnibus bill addresses two issues that area residents have contacted me about and I worked on directly. The first clarifies that farmers with a wind turbine should not be subject to commercial property taxes. The second allows homestead treat- ment of licensed child care proper- ty located in family homes, duplexes or triplexes assessed as homesteads for property tax pur- poses. Many day care providers in our district were worried about losing their homestead status when offering day care in their homes. The bill helps individuals by eliminating the middle-class tax grab by fixing the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT) trap. The Senate not only entirely fixes the inflation problem but extends full AMT deductions for dependents and charitable contributions. In addition, the bill gives military members, their spouses an sur- vivors the 'san tax relief at the state level that Congress passed last year in the Military Family Tax Relief Act (MFTRA), and makes families with more than two children eligible to claim addi- tional education tax credits/sub- tractions, and provides a $10,000 income tax subtraction for organ donors. Communities receive a shot in the arm through $60 million to Local Government aid (LGA) which is funding from the state to help pay for essential services. Last session, LGA was slashed by $150 million. Without this aid, townships, cities and counties are forced to cut services or increase property taxes. Many businesses will benefit from the Senate's immediate implementation of Single Sales Factor (SSF); 12 percent a year in the Limited Market Value (LMV) phase-out for businesses that grow beyond the $500,000 threshold; and a 25 percent reduction in the insurance premiums tax. It's our goal to help businesses so they can create jobs and in turn help the economy. Anyone with comments or ques- tions about the bill can contact me at 226 State Capitol, 75 Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd., St. Paul, MN 55155-1606, senjim.vickermn@senate.mn or 651-296:5650. Sincerely, Jim Vickerman State Sen., Dist. 22 Find us on the Web at www.lyon- siouxpress. com AI Ba00. . "Stories from the Batt Cave" Ask AI There are no stupid questions, only stupid people like me who attempt to answer them. "What graduating class were you in?" The June one. "How can we beautify our road- sides?" Get all of the litterbugs to start throwing prettier stuff out their win- dows. "Does it get foggy in the Greater Hartland area?" Does it ever. That's why all of our road signs are in Braille." "Why does everyone in your family have such big feet?" To keep from falling into wells. "What is your definition of a liar?" A weatherman. "How did they measure hailstones before there were golf balls?" Hail used to be as big as gallstones. "Where is your office located?" It's on the 29th floor of the Hartland Herald Building. "1 hear so much about 'leading eco- nomic indicators.' Is there anything that isn an economic indicator?" Yes, Vikings' fans. They'll buy anything as long as it's purple and gold. "What have the Canadians given us besides geese, thistles and bacon?" Just remember that without Canada, we'd live even further north. "Why do the roads in Hartland Township sometimes get muddy?" It happens because pocket gophers move their mounds of dirt at night. Occasionally, it rains on these mounds while they are being moved. "Do you have any old radios?" I have one that is so old that it still picks up the Arthur Godfrey Show. "Was your school class very smart?" I don't think so. There was a "Slow school children" sign in front of our school. "Do you think that people in small towns are nosey?" No, we just tend to observe things more closely. "How can I tell if a dollar bill is really old?" It will have a picture of George Washington as a boy. "Were you spoiled as a child?" Some would say so, but I think that a lot of kids smelled that way. "What is the greatest wildlife specta- cle you've ever seen?" It would have to be Scooter Johnson's bachelor party. "Were you very smart when you were a child?" When I was only. 5- years old, tests showed that I had the brain of a 10-year old. I still have it. "How do you like your lutefisk?" I like it with a lot of butter and no lute- risk. "Do you do much singing. ' I sing in a small quartet--there are only 3 of us in the group. "Have you ever tried using peanut butter as bait when you are fishing .' Yes, I caught a jelly fish. "1 heard that you are leading a real- ly dirt cheap tour to Branson. How do you do it?" It's simple. You get 3 days and 3 nights in Branson. The days are July 7, 9 and 11. The nights are July 1, 2 and 5. "What's the easiest way to find something Ik, e lost?" Buy a replace- ment. "Can you name all of the planets?" No. I can1 name any of them. They all have names already. "Who was Descartes?" He was a fellow who once said, "1 think, there- fore I am." Then somebody asked him if he wanted some lutefisk. Descartes replied with, "1 think not." Then he dis- appeared. =Will we ever ty?" Not until all the surrender. =Why would anybody peanut butter and Because they only own =Why do we need to on our didn't rotate, the cars "Why do male beards?" To weak chins. "1 see a lot of new jail What do you think about all of that money behind could have invested it in chocolate. "Is it difficult sic Only the spellin, part =Will corn answer to all the ballot booth?" Computerized voting same operating syster as could go wrong? =What is your news?" Nielsen's =What is the best my insomnia?" Sleep it =Why are so few es kept?" half made by the "Do you one every night. The day, my wife makes a you?" list. "My lint trap has What can I do?" Try the bait you ter. -AI Batt 2004 71622 325 St. Hart'land, MN 56042 SnoEowl@aol.cem WE:X)KOHE LOOK/'E CONElg00G OF DI00tDUt00 Cb00l). :: ::::::::: :?f:: ::: : :: Sent'reel Tribune Thomas Merchant Roxy Soil Wayne Rue Junette Merchant (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Ad Layout & Office Manager Advertising Sales Westbrook Office & Production Production Nancy Goring Joan Spielman Production Carolyn Van Loh assignment reporter Ted Herder Walnut Grove news correspondent Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, Lyon, Murray and Nobles $25.00 Per Year - $17.00 6 Months (includes Peach). Elsewhere in Minnesota $29.00 per year. Out of the State $34.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $6.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mail- ing single copies is almost $1.56. Any request for a back copy must include $2.00. Newstand price is 75 cents per copy. Copyright 2003 Sentinel Tribune a Lyon Sioux Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183 CALL WESTBROOK OFFICE 507-274-6136 FAX 507-274-6137 TOLL-FREE 1-800-410-1859 E-mail OR DROP NEWS ITEMS AT THE OLESON'S Monday thru Friday 9:00 a.m. to Saturday 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p." DEADLINES Local news School news 2:00 Articles and other news All Peach Ads Sentinel Ads, & Classified Ads WESTBROOK SENTINEL TRIBUNE Monday, Tuesday Wednesday 8:00 Thursday, Friday 8:00 sentrib@rrcnet.Org