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May 26, 2010     Sentinel Tribune
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SENTINEL TRIBUNE VIEWPOINT Wednesday, May 26, 2010 Page 4 , L BETWEEN By Tom Merchant - Sentinel Tribune -- tmerchant@neppub.com THE LINES Playing chicken? Can you believe this? The following item was gleaned off of the front page of the Worthington Daily Globe last week. Reno, NV voters, dressed in chicken costumes won't be allowed inside Nevada polling place this year. State election offi- cials on Friday, added chicken suits to the list of banned items after weeks of ridicule directed at Republican Senate can- didate Sue Lowden. The millionaire casino executive and former beauty queen recently suggested that people barter with doctors for medical care, like when "our grandparents would bring a chicken to the doctor." Democrats responded by setting up a website, "Chickens for Checkups," and by sending volun- teers in chicken suits to her campaign events. Lowden is in a 12-way primary race to decide Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's Republican opponent. Well, I don't think it will be a problem to find a few humorous dittys to run by you on this one. Where do I start, so many zingers, so little space! Aside from this being the lamest idea in mod- ern history, I will proceed. First of all l really don't have much to barter with, I suppose I can grab a couple of extra papers to barter with. The first ques- tion I have is, who do you talk to. I am sure a doctor who is paid probably a minimum of $200 an hour is not going to want to barter with every person that comes in the door. Also how many chickens or copies of a newspa- per does a doctor really need? OK, so you probably would have to go to the billing department to talk with someone who is paid a heck of a lot less. But can you imagine some- one in billing trying to figure out whatever you bring in is worth? This is getting so stupid I really have to wonder how this woman ever got to be a millionaire? She must have inherited it. But then if that is the case, she won't have it for long. Last l heard, and have experienced, even the Native American Casinos do not accept beads and trinkets like they did in the early days of this country. I wonder if she thought about how complicat- ed that would make an already complicated sys- tem? It would be a book- keeping nightmare to say the least. As bad as the system we now use is for a lot of folks this would make things totally outrageous. Quite frankly, I can't begin to see where this would cut the cost of medical care. It would take a heck of a flock of chickens to barter for the average heart pro- cedure! Also most people don't have any chickens except maybe a couple in the freezer. .... That brings up another question -- Where would they put all of those chick- ens at the clinic? I don't know about you, but when I was in the service I got really tired of chicken, we had it about five times a week. I couldn't eat chicken for a couple of years after I got out! Have a good week! AI BaH... "Stories from the Cave" How a man thinks Dirty socks are like hand gre- nades. If we toss them near a hamper, that's close enough. A HEALTH REPORT It brought about conversation. We presented thoughtful argu- ments as to which one should have to rise from a position of comfort and change the chan- nel on the TV set. Then the TV remote control became com- monplace. The remote control made for less exercise (other than for thumbs) and a higher obesity rate. Lose pounds. Lose the remote. WORK DAZE I was a college student with a full-time job. I worked nights and went to school days. There were only 24 hours in a day in that bygone era--except, of course, in February when there were 28. I was seated in my workplace lunchroom when another grave- yard shift worker sat down near ments. They're like the out- doors in that the food tastes better there. I enjoy maneuver- ing around posts and battered pianos. The din made by metal chairs in a basement with poor acoustics is music to my ears. I salivate at the thought of hotdish- es, lemon bars, funeral potatoes (scalloped potatoes and ham), and green JelI-O with shredded carrots and mayonnaise. I love a soup and pie supper. It's much more than a fundraiser. It's a simple way to upgrade a day. A BIRTHDAY I attended a l OOth birthday party. The birthday girl didn't look her age. Most that make it to the century mark don't. I wished her a happy birthday and asked if she had any tips for those who wanted to match her longevity. She replied, "Wear comfort- able shoes." KEEPING STUFF Mission Statement The Sentinel Tribune serves the residents and business community of Cottonwood, Redwood, Murray and Lyon County and southwest Minnesota by applying its available resources to accurately and consistently produce a quality newspaper which thoroughly covers the news of the area, stimulates thought and conversation, delivers advertising messages in a timely manner, and provides information of general value to its public. In so doing contributes to the overall quality of life and economic health of its readers, advertisers and community in general while stimulating the professional development of its employ- ees. me. He was twice my age, so I considered him ancient. He told . me that he vas a lucky man .... Iknew he didn't mean:that he, was fortunate to be able to eat with me, so I asked him what he meant. He replied, "1 have a cigarette lighter and a wife-and they both work." ALL I KNOW ABOUT LAWN CARE Always mow the front yard first in case the lawn mower breaks. SOUP AND PIE SUPPERS Suppers are eaten in church- es. That's a good thing. On a life's road filled with twists and bends, it's good to know that supper can be found in a church. Life is short, but the steps are long. We get tired. Because of that, stairs are eliminated when- ever possible. Church base- ments either go away or are no longer used for suppers. A casualty of change. I enjoy visiting church base- I drive by a number of storage units. Buildings meant to hold the belongings of people who have nowhere else to store them. My parents put things away in a place where they would always remember where they put them. At least, that was the idea. The items usually ended up in the last place we would ever look for them. When I was a boy, storage units were empty coffee cans. THINK OF THE ECONOMY AS A CAR'S ENGINE I don't have to tell you about the economy. That's the job of the people on TV. Those talking heads are like the guy who stops by when you are under the hood of your stalled car and says, "It looks like you have engine prob- lems." AS THE ODOMETER TURNS My neighbor Crandall had been stopped for going the wrong way on a one-way street. The policeman told him that he was going the wrong way. Crandall replied, "How do you know? You don't know, where rm going." ANY VOLUNTEERS The man from Elkton, South Dakota told me that he was the tenth of ten children. Times were tough. They even did without the things they didn't want. One day, he asked his mother why she had so many children. She replied, "Where would you have wanted me to stop?" THE CELL PHONE CHRONICLES We had been asked to dis- able our cell phones. A speaker was attempting to pass valu- able information our way. A phone rang loudly in our midst. A woman quickly became one of those annoying loud talkers. "Just between you and me..." she said in the most strident of voices. It wasn't. WASHINGTON, DC I spoke in our nation's capital and enjoyed somesightseeing. Here are some ithings ! learned. For a hick like me, a bigcity is where a good day is r ;sing a bus. I don't mean not catching a bus. I mean not being hit by one. If the seated Abe Lincoln at the Lincoln Memorial were to stand up, he would be 28 feet tall and would scare the living daylights out of people. The Washington Monument looks nothing like George Washington. THE BUMPER STICKER READ On a car in Owatonna, "Faster than a speeding ticket." AI Batt 2010 71622 325 St. 1-1, MN 56042 http:Halbatt.net/ Sentinel Tribune Thomas Merchant Junette Merchant Joan Spielman Jessica Noding (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Office & Production Office & Production Marketing Specialist Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, and Murray $38.00 per year. Elsewhere in Minnesota $42.00 per year. Out of the state $48.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office. If wrong amount is submitted subscrip- tion will be pro rated accordingly. "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $5.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mailing single copies is about $2.00. Any request for a back copy must include $3.00. Newstand price is $1.00 per copy. Copyright 2010 Sentinel Tribune a New Century Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183 CALL WESTBROOK OFFICE 507-274-6136 FAX 507-274-6137 TOLL-FREE 1-800-410-1859 News Desk E-mail sentrib@ncppub.com Editor tmerchant@ncppub.com OR DROP NEWS ITEMS AT THE OLESON'S MERCANTILE WALNUT GROVE i ....... iTr/ ............................ Monday thru Friday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Saturday 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. ! 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