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June 5, 2013

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SENTINEL TRIBUNE 00/rlEWPOINT Wednesday, June 5, 2013 Page 4 BETWEEN By Tom Merchant - Sentinel Tribune -- tmerchant@ncppub.oom THE LINES If I fell into a vat of chocolate.. If you recall the music and humor of the Smothers Brothers, youmight remember this song, I Fell Into a Vat of Chocolate. It goes something like this -- Tommy sings, "I fell into a vat of chocolate, I fell into a vat of chocolate, Then Dick sang, "What did you do when you fell into a vat of chocolate? Tommy sang, I yelled Fire! Dick sang, "Why did you yell fire when you fell into a vat of chocolate? Tommy sang, "I yelled Fire when I fell into a vat of chocolate, because nobody would home if I yelled Chocolate! Well I don't think that would be such a bad way to go, after all it could have been a manure pit! Recently I wrote about a 106 year old woman who attributed her long life to bacon -- Bless her! I got to think if bacon is that good for you, how about choco- late? Nobody doesn't like choco- late, although there are some who can't eat it due to medical condi- tions. As a diabetic I have had to cut back on my dosage of the medicinal use of chocolate. Indeed I have had more than a couple of doctors tell me that dark chocolate in moderation is actu- ally good for your health, for mind, body and spirit. Here Here! That is some of the best news for the masses I have heard since sliced bread. However, having said that, it is NOT OK to eat a quart of Ben and Jerry's double fudge ice cream at one sitting! Nor should one eat sixteen Snicker bars at one sitting, or eat a whole chocolate cake at once. I also did a Google search on long life attributable to eating chocolate. I did find a story about a woman from Cresskill, New York,,Mary: CougMin, who cele- br,4lat:etle hundredthbirthday recently. Her sons thought her secret to reaching 100 was being a "chocolate fanatic." Whether it's donuts or candy, she's been known to go through boxes of chocolate rather quickly," they said. Mary also said, "my religion comes first." She also is known to be an avid book reader. There is scientific evidence to support the benefits of chocolate. Chocolate stimulates the release of endorphins, natural hormones produced by the brain, that gener- ates feelings of pleasure and pro- motes a sense of well being. Chocolate is also shown to have heart-protecting properties of and dark chocolate has been recog- nized for some time. Dark choco- late is high in flavinoids which have shown to be anti-oxidants which are helpful in reducing heart disease. Of course the bottom line is some chocolate is high in fat and sugar content, so like I said before, eat your chocolate but don't pig out on it. I have always preferred dark chocolate over milk chocolate, so why do I have heart disease? Maybe because I tended to eat a little too much of that and other things that probably were not good for me either. Here is a few interesting quotes about chocolate. "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." Charles M. Shultz. "Their is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate." Linda Grayson. "Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces." Judith Viols. "Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain." Dave Barry. "Anything is good if it's made of chocolate." Jo Brand. "What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a life- time of chocolate." Katherine Hepburn. "The 12 step chocolate pro- gram: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate." Terry Moore. "Chemically speaking, choc- olate is the world's perfect food." Michael Levine. "Well now that is certainly food for thought." Tom Merchant. Have a great week and do good! ASK A TROOPER AI BaH... "Stories from the Batt Cave" ti:!(':: ..... And some of us speak a second lan- guagemlowan Back when the movie "Fargo" was in the theaters, a friend from Texas called me. He thinks of Minnesota as being a state where the Vikings play when it's not too cold. He brags me up as being a guy who can speak both English and Minnesotan. He said that I should see the movie because the people in it sounded just like me and my ilk. Ilk? I didn't know that I had ilk. That figures. Some people have people. I get stuck with ilk. Maybe we could start an Ilk's Club. I informed the caller that Fargo wasn't located in Minnesota. Fargo is in North Dakota, a wonderful state that I'm sure prefers to keep Fargo within its borders. I told him that I'd see the film. The movie theater wasn't far to go. I was certain that the fictional char- acters presented on the big :screen would sound nothing like momma and them and me. And I was right. I watched the movie, paying partic- ular attention to the voices. They sounded nothing like my people, er, my ilk. The next day, I went into the cafe sharing my ZIP Code to enjoy lunch with some folks traveling through the area. I got there a bit early and exchanged pleasantries with some of the locals, or as we are known fondly, the local yokels. None of whom were named Ole, Lena, Sven, or Lars. As I listened to those of my ilk talk, I heard "You betcha," "Oh, yeah, sure," and "Don't you know." As I kept an ear open, I heard pop drinkers say "rassling" (wres- tling), "warshing" (washing), and "Minasoda" (Minnesota). I listened to "root" sounding like "foot." As I listened to those good folks talk, I realized something. They talked just like the people in the movie, "Fargo." I sent an email to the Texan, tell- ing him that he was right. I didn't add the fact that I was wrong. It's not easy for a man to admit when he's wrong. It's easier for us to say "I'm sorry" a thousand times than to say "I was wrong" once. The Texan emailed back that the world's smallest violin was playing "My heart cries for you." I mumbled, "Uffda." Minnesotans are fond of saying, "Uffda." We're not sure why. We say it when something good hap- pens. We say it when something bad happens. We say it when noth- ing happens. When we're too tired to say, "Uffda," we say, "Uff." I was working in Alaska one year and had visited 33 Mile Roadhouse north of Haines to feed my face. When [ entered the eatery, the wait- '! -less waS'inging a happy birthday ' song to a patron. The song wasn't the traditional happy birthday song. Instead of saying, "That's differ- ent," I joined in the singing, con- centrating my efforts in the key of off. The song completed, the waitress asked me, "what part of Minnesota are you from?" She asked because I knew the words to the song. I knew the words because of Casey Jones, a beloved figure in Minnesota televi- sion. Casey was a man who por- trayed a railroad engineer, dressed in a pinstriped jacket, cap, and overalls, with a red handkerchief around his neck. From 1954 through 1972, Casey appeared daily on WTCN-TV, Channel 11. He entertained youngsters with car- toons, comedy bits, songs, banter with sidekick Roundhouse Rodney, and birthday greetings. "Lunch with Casey" was extremely popular and Casey sang his own original, non-traditional birthday song that went like this, "Happy, happy birth- day, to every girl and boy! Hope this very special day, brings you lots 0f joy! Hope that birthday present, you get from Mom and Dad. Will make this very special day, the best you ever had!" Another day, I did more than nothing and attended the ultimate Minnesota wedding. "Do you, Mary, take Jim to be your lawful wedded husband?" asked the minister. "Yeah, sure." "And do you, Jim, take Mary to be your lawful wedded wife?" the clergyman said. "You bet." "If anyone has just cause why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The minister paused for response. "Nobody? Even though the divorce rate is about 50 percent. If an airline had half its flights crash, you probably wouldn't book a flight. Still no objections? That's comforting. Minnesota nice is alive and well here today. You may now kiss the bride. Uffda!" Remember, nobody in Minnesota talks like we do. At least, not as much as we used to. A1 Batt 2013 71622 325 St. 1-1, MN 56042 BY JACALYN STICHA I was on the interstate shoulder, taking a phone call, and a state trooper pulled in behind me. He asked if everything was OK and advised me that it is illegal to stop on a freeway shoulder except for emergencies Is this right? First, thank you, for being safe- ty minded and avoiding distracted driving. Freeway shoulders are off limits, except in an emergency. This has been restricted since their inception, long before cell phones, as it provides for a safer environ- ment. Signs are posted at all entrance ramps onto the freeway. Pedestrians, bicycles, motorized bicycles, and non-motorized traf- fic also are prohibited onto the freeway. We encourage motorists to exit the freeway and find a safe/legal place to stop and use their phones. Vehicles stopped on the shoulder create a safety hazard, with high speeds and limited space; shoul- ders should only be used if a driver has no choice. In addition, restricting shoulder use helps reduce vehicles merging slowly and abruptly back into fast mov- ing traffic. This is also the reason for free- ways being access controlled and having acceleration/deceleration lanes and ramps; minimize extreme differences in speeds, remove intersections and crossing problems and limiting unexpected obstacles. When dispatch receives a call about a vehicle on the freeway shoulder, a trooper is sent - when the trooper arrives, the vehicle and driver are, often, gone or just chat- ting on the phone. This consumes a great deal of a trooper's time; preventing them from utilizing their time as efficiently as possi- ble with such great daily demand. On other roadways, I would always encourage a motorist to find a safe place to pull over well away from the travel portion of the roadway. I '11 IIIII III Sentinel Tribune Thomas Merchant Junette Merchant Joan Spielman (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Office & Production Ad Representative & Office Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, and Murray $42.00 per year. Elsewhere in Minnesota $46.00 per year. Out of the state $52.00 per year. 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