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Westbrook, Minnesota
June 23, 2004     Sentinel Tribune
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June 23, 2004

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Viewpoint -- i Wednesday, June 23, 2004 BETWEEN By Tom Merchant Sentinel Tribune THE LINES Full plate I am sure most of you have heard the term "full plate", as in I am going to have a full plate this week and for the next sev- eral weeks. First off Westbrook has it's Fun Days. Loads of events are packed into this busy weekend along with several events not directly related. For instance the Westbrook Heritage House will be celebrating it's 20th anniversary. If you have not been there for a visit, or if it has been awhile since you have vis- ited, be sure to stop in and see what a fine job these folks have done at preserving our her- itagjf' course the Westbrook Library has planned a fun event with Mister Twister doing a Balloon Jam entertaining young and old at the community cen- ter Wednesday evening. Thursday evening the Westbrook Health Care Center will sponsor a free appreciation supper at the Peterson Estates starting at 5:00. Thursday evening the Kiwanis Club will hold their Night of Praise start- ing at 7:00. It will be a fun packed week for young and old alike. Don't forget to have some funf Father Ole One night Father Ole was praying in nis room when God appeared before him. "My son, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God. "Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a pas- tor. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am con- tent in all ways," said Father Ole. "There must be something you would have of me," said God. "Well, there is one thing," he said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those Norwegian jokes. They are so demearing to Norwegians everywhere, not just to me. I would like for Norwegian jokes to stop." -"Consider it done," said God. "Norwegian jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you." "There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the priest. "Name it. Please," said God. "It's the M&M's," said Ole. "They're so hard to peel." Have a great week! LETTER TO THE EDITOR Online safety for kids Approximately 1 in 5 children were sexually solicited or approached over the Internet in 1999. In response to this disturbing statistic, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) and the Boys & Girls Clubs of America (B&GCA) have delivered the NetSmartz Workshop software to all 3, 100 Boys and Girls' Clubs and made it available for free on the Internet at www.NetSmartz, ore. The software features state-of- the-art educational content focus- ing on online safety for kids, including protecting children from online sexual predators and other dangers. The NetSmartz workshop is divided into 3 sections. NetSmartz Kids for children ages 5 to 12. NetSmartz Teens is for teenagers and the Parents & Educators section has access to on and offline activities and teachings tools to help students avoid the risks they face online. Safety tips... *Monitor your children when they are online and monitor the time they spend online. If your child becomes uneasy or defensive when you walk into the room or when you linger, they may be up to something unusual or even forbid- den. *Never give out your name, address, phone #, password, school name, parent's name, or other per- sonal information. *Never agree to meet face to face with someone you meet online. *Never send a picture of them- selves to anyone without permis- sion from your parents. Consider using filtering or monitoring soft- ware for your computer. Visit the "esources" section of www.NetSmartz.or to get infor- mation on filtering or blocking software. *Talk to your child about not responding to offensive or danger- ous E-mail, chat, or other commu- nications. Report any such commu- nication to local law enforcement. Do not delete the offensive or dan- gerous E-mail, instead turn off the monitor, and contact local law enforcement. *Keep the computer in the family room or another open area of your home. Please check out this web site for valuable information and resources to keep our children safe. For more information on this topic please contact New Horizons Crisis Center in Slayton 836-6272, Marshall 532- 5764, SMSU 537-6817, or Redwood 637-5570. Mission Statement The Sentinel Tdbune serves the residents and business community of Cottonwood, Redwood, Murray and Lyon County and southwest Minnesota by applying its available resources to accurately and consistently produce a quality newspaper which thoroughly covers the news of the area, stimulates thought and conversation, delivers advertising messages in a timely manner, and provides information of general value to its public. In so doing contributes to the overall quality of life and economic health of its read- ers, advertisers and community in general while stimulating the professional development of its employees. Thomas Merchant Roxy Soil Tom Merchant Junette Merchent Nancy Goring Joan Splalman Sentinel Tribune i i (ISSN 8750-3905) Managing Editor Ad Layout & Office Manager Advertising Sales Westbrook Office & Production Production Production Carolyn Van Loh assignment reporter Ted Herder Walnut Grove news correspondent Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, Lyon, Murray and Nobles $25.00 Per Year - $17.00 6 Months (includes i / AI Bart... "Stories from the Batt Cave" Ask AI Here is yet another attempt to answer some of the questions I get =rom you wonderful readers. y computer has a virus. What shall I do?" Download a couple of aspirin and call a com- puter geek in the morning. =What was the eadiest American think tank?" The out- house. "What did you want to be when you got out of high school?" No older than 30. "What exactly is a Jersey cow?" It's a cow from New Jersey. "My husband walks into a bar every day. What can I do about it?" I'd get him some glasses. That way he might be able to see that bar before he walks into it. "Will this country ever outlaw prayer completely in public places?" Not as long as we keep driving the way we do on our highways. =Can you really have too much of a good thing? Can money buy happiness?" All I know is that I wish I had been a part of the studies that determined those sayings. "1 saw something red with 4 legs that was singing like a bird? What was it?" Two cardinals. "What was the greatest dilem- ma you,e ever faced?" Free lute- risk. "What do you do in your spare time?" I'm writing an unautho- rized autobiography. "How many people live in Rio de Janeiro?' At least a Brazilian. 'Who was Saint (San) Andreas?" He is the patron saint of generosity. He was generous to a fault. "Who came up with the idea for daylight-saving time?" Most peo- ple say it was Ben Franklin, but I'm sure it was Konrad Adenauer (Conrad add an hour). 'What is your definition of irony?' Giving a father a billfold for Christmas. "1 see you in the public library a lot. What are you up to?" I enjoy leafing through a few books on trees. "What's the difference between soil and dirt?" Soil is outside. What you track into the house is dirt. 'Is violence ever justified?" Only when someone asks you if it's cold enough for you? "Do you have any tips for throw- ing horseshoes?" Yes, make sure you remove the horse first. 'Are you a Republican or a Democrat?" Neither. I'm a Monarchist. "How can I tell if I have carpen- ter ants in the house?" If some ants show up unexpectedly and then disappear for months before returning; those are carpenter ants. "Do you think that men really marry their mothers?' No. Men marry their girlfriends and then expect them to become their mothers. "Is hindsight really 20/20?' Yes, and Heinz sight is 57157. =Does your family tree include any interesting characters?" I guess my Uncle Alonzo would qualify. He was a contortionist who died in his own arms. "What do you think of the high- ways going through large cities?" They are insane asylums with turn signals. =My 1984 Lincoln leaks all over my driveway and my mechanic is unable to fix it. What's the prob- lem?" It sounds like you are the owner of the Lincoln Incontinental. "Do you have a regular exercise program?" Yes. It's called wearing bifocals. It gives plenty of exercise as I dL C bend, bob and weave while I keep my life in focus. 'What is Hartland famo = We turn out more HartlandetS than any city in America otht than the other cities named Hartland in Wisconsin, Micl Vermont, Connecticut, Clli Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Carolina, North Dakota, New York, Ohio, Texas and W e.';t Virginia. 'What is your definition of husband?' A husband is sol who takes out the trash and the impression he just cle al enti(e house. "Why do we eat dinner we used to have supper?" because Banquet never with any TV suppers. =Haven't I seen your where else?" I don't think so. It's always been between mY ears. "How can I tell my have had my tongue ,e Send them a letter that sayS,,, a 'om 'n 'ad. I aunt ou 'el ou =" 'us 'ad m' 'unge pierce" What is a miracle drug?" that you can afford. "What is the sincerest fon d flattery?" A steamroller. "what does =nouvelle cui mean? It's a French wq) meaning,"l can't believe that $93 for this and I'm still Why do some men wear baseball cap backwards?" the cap won't be knocked easily when the police are the men into a squad car. -AI Batt 2004 71622 325 St. Hartland, MN 56042 We welcome your participa- tion, whether in letters or com- mentary. If possible, please make your submission by e-mail to sen- Conventional mail address is Sentinel Tribune, P.O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183. Our Fax number is 507- 274-6137. We require submis- sions be exclusive to us in our market area. All must include writers name, address, and day time telephone number. Letters should be brief, up to 250 words, other submissions should be no longer than 500 words. Original items can not be returned unless the writer would pick them up at the office or send self addressed stamped envelope. No items will be kept longer than 30 days. We reserve the right to refuse publi- cation of any submitted letters or stories. ii Peach). Elsewhere in Minnesota $29.00 per year. Out of the State $34.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $6.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mail- ing single copies is almost $1.50. Any request for a back copy must include $2.00. Newstand price is 75 cents per copy. Copyright 2003 Sentinel Tribune a Lyon Sioux Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. Box 98, Westbrook, MN 56183 CALL WESTBROOK OFFICE 507-274-6136 FAX 507-274-6137 TOLL-FREE 1-800-410-1859 J . t " E-mail OR OROP NEWS ITEMS AT THE OLESON'S MERCANTILE WALNUT GRO V Monday thru Friday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.nt. Saturday 9:00 a.m. to 4.-00 p.m. DEADLINES Local news Noon School news 2:00 p.m. Arttcles and other news 12:00 p.m. All Peach Ads 9:00 a.m. Sentinel Ads, & Classified Ads 4:00 p.m. WESTBROOK SENTINEL TRIBUNE OFFICE Monday, Tuesday 8:00 am. - S: Wednesday 8:00 a.m. - Thursday, Friday 8:00 a.m. -