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October 21, 2009     Sentinel Tribune
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October 21, 2009
 

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SENTINEL TRIBUNE Wednesday, October 21, 2009 Page 4 BETWEEN THE LINES By Tom Merchant - Sentinel Tribune -- tmerchant@ncppub.com Since I was on vacation Parents in Beverly Hills last week I decided to fired their nannies and use this e-mad forward learned their children's this week in my column, names. Enjoy. A truckload of Americans was caught Humor: How Bad Is It? sneaking into Mexico. THE ECONOMY IS SO Dick Cheney took his BAD, that.., stockbroker hunting. t got a pre-declined Motel Six won't leave credit card in the mail. the light on anymore. I ordered a burger at The Mafia is laying off McDonalds and the kid judges. behind,, the counter Exxon-Mobil laid off asked, Can you afford 25 Congressmen. fries with that?" CEO's are now play- ing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scan- dal. Oh Great![ The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear. Have a good week! "Stories from the BaH Cave" The World series I was in the seventh grade. I was in a classroom, rm not sure what class was being taught because I wasn't paying atten- tion. I know it wasn't biology because I couldn't smell formaldehyde. It wasn't my fault that I didn't know what class it was. It was the fault of the transistor radio. That's reason and keen on staying home and enjoying the ballgame. My parents, by a unanimous vote of two to zero, determined that I would be furthering my education while the athletic endeavor was taking place. able. I plugged the correct end into the radio concealed in my pocket, threaded the wire from the pock- et up my shirt and into the long sleeve of the shirt covering my left arm. Despite my protests, I found I placed my left elbow on my myself on the school bus. I con- well-carved desk--right ,on a sidered how unfair the world was lovely etching of "Craig '64'-and as the bus bounced its way to the supported my chin with my left "Breast Cancer (or which are worn more than 8 a word not heard often any- institution of middle learning. I hand. The fingers of my left hand Awareness" Month hours per day) increase the odds more--"transistor." It had nothing was soon confined in the hal- crawled up and covered my ear. October has been proclaimed, of breast cancer substantially, to do with a sibling's love of trans lowed halls, bemoaning my fail- The ear where the earphone hid. "Breast Cancer Awareness (Indeed, their data suggests fats. A transistor was a little radio ure to convince my parents of the This position allowed me to take Month", and as one who has that women in cultures where that apparently had at least one intellectual benefits of enjoying a notes with my right hand. Genius! worked with breast cancer bras are not worn, simply DO transistor in it. I'm not sure what baseball game. rd considered adopting the patients at our clinic, I add my NOT get breast cancer!) that transistor did--it likely tran- I had not ruled out the chance guise of someone completely support to the need for aware- As to AWARENESS, regular sisted. I do know that the radio that I might be in school on that enthralled, but I worried that ness. I would, however, wish to exams are important, though ifI picked up radio stations. That's day. After all, it was a school day. might give my teacher reason to emphasize that, over and above were a woman, I would opt for quite a feat when you think about I had done some planning. Those call on me. Instead, I assumed the need to simply be AWARE, it more THERMOGRAMS than it. Oust think of a bus picking up who fail to plan, plan tO fail. the vacant look that had served is at least equally important to mammograms, since research bus stations or a train picking up I sat at my desk, located in the me so well during my school s`t res .. R,EYENTION This is suggests that a herraog r . , ainstations. It makes you want middle of the room, as my career. n Jt given much press, and the may be able .to detec./, toStopilhinking, doesn't it?i' teacher went on ;and on about Th ngs were ooing wel. Then cynic nme wonders whether ;breast can'cers as' much as i0' I had a problem.' OK, I had something, ha i' bi:oJg'ht my' the Titanic. fle of my those wlao are pushing the years earlier than a mamma- many problems. I was in the sev- transistor radio, complete with its favorite players cracked out a at least one transistor, to school home run, putting a zip in my with me. The GE transistor radio doodah. I wanted to jump for joy. was a small white lob. I was a My left hand did, pulling the plug huge fan of that radio. No, it was- from the radio, n't Bring a Radio to School Day. It A loud and excited play-by-play wasn't even Show and Tell Day. I announcer extolling a home run had the radio stuffed into a pock- of mammoth proportions inter- et of my pants. It made sitting rupted the scholarly atmosphere. uncomfortable, but trying to learn The teacher stared right at me. whatever it was that my teacher Everyone was staring at me. was babbling about caused dis- I expected the worst. comfort, too. The instructor said, "Mr. Batt, The radio came with an ear- kill that noise, but do keep us phone, made out of genuine plas- posted on the score." tic, situated at the end of a long wire. The idea was to poke the AI Batt 2009 plug on one end of the wire into 71622 325 St. the radio and the earphone on 1-1, MN 56042 the other end into an ear. By trial http://albatt.net/ and error, I had learned that the two ends were not interchange- awareness program are not gram, and to do so without the enth grade and girls were begin- more interested in sponsoring harm to the tissues which the x, ning to look pretty good to me. I walks and pink ribbons to raise radiation of a mammogram cer- promotional funds than they are tainly causes. Thermograms evidently looked invisible to them. are now available in SW Another problem was that I could- in actually preventing this very Minnesota, in Slayton and other n't stop thinking about driving but pesky condition. On PREVENTION: Were I a communities, was too young to obtain a driver's woman concerned about breast So, more power to the womenlicense. Having no clue as to cancer, one of the f' st things I who are participating in what class I was in was a prob- would do is to increase my vita- fundraisers, but I would urge lem, too. My major problem of the min D intake significantly and that while funds for "research". day was that I was in school dur- test my levels to be certain seem a good idea, such research ing the time when a World Series they're appropriate. Recent has been going on for many game was being played. It didn't research suggests that by years without, apparently, a matter who the teams were. All increasing serum levels of vita- whole lot of progress. Perhaps that mattered was that it was the min D3 to 66 ng/ml, the odds of humanity would be better World Series. getting breast cancer may drop served if those promotions sup- I had my priorities straight, but by 67 percent! And, were I a plied adequate vitamin D tomy parents, well, you know par- woman so concerned, I would every woman, at a cost of mere ents. They have some goofy read the book, Dressed To Kill, pennies per day. ideas. Some of you might even by Singer & Grismaijer, which be parents. If you are, you know makes the case that undergar- Charles Reinert ND, PhD how you are. I was the voice of ments which are too restrictive Tracy Mission Statement The Sentinel Tribune serves the residents and business com- munity of Cottonwood, Redwood, Murray and Lyon County and south- west Minnesota by applying its available resources to accurately and consistently produce a quality newspaper which thoroughly covers the news of the area, stimulates thought and conversation, delivers adver- tising messages in a timely manner, and provides information of gener- al value to its public. In so doing contributes to the overall quality of life and economic health of its readers, advertisers and community in gen- eral while stimulating the professional development of its employees. b (ISSN 8750-3905) Thomas Merchant Managing Editor Lisa Moravec Advertising Representative Junette Merchant Office &.Production Joan Spielman Office & Production Carolyn Van Loh Contributing reporter Published every Wednesday at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 Periodicals Postage Paid at Westbrook, Minnesota 56183 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE FOR THE SENTINEL TRIBUNE WILL BE: In the following counties: Cottonwood, Redwood, Lyon, Murray and Nobles $38.00 per year. Elsewhere in Minnesota $42.00 per year. Out of the state $48.00 per year. Canada and foreign countries inquire at the Sentinel Tribune Office. If wrong amount is submitted subscription will be pro rated accordingly. "Snowbirds" may put their paper on hold at no extra charge while they are gone, or pay $5.00 extra to have it mailed out of state. Missed copies cannot be furnished because the cost of mailing sin- ~le copies is about $2.00. Any request for a back copy must include 3.00. Newstand price is $1.00 per copy. Copyright 2009 Sentinel Tribune a New Century Press Newspaper Mail Change of Address Notice to: P. O. 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